Today I unlocked a door with my butt. It was quite accidental, as most back-end phenomenon are. I almost thought it was a fluke but repeated bumpings proved that my wide-load has a knack for it. All afternoon I've been trying to think of a practical use for my newly discovered talent. Maybe I could become a locksmith.
Or a buttocksmith.
Not to be confused with a Botoxsmith who simply stops your locks from functioning in any natural way. But they sure look nice after. No judgement.
My lady hump has other talents too. It's really good at turning on the stove. Unless the pilot light is out, then things get a little heated.
Unlocking doors and turing on stoves. Maybe my bon-bon should open a bed and breakfast. The Cozy Caboose? Definite marketing potential.
The only qualm I have is my that aparently my booty is claustrophobic. I can hardly walk through a door with out slamming into the doorknob and catching it in my pocket. It sure does have good aim though, nearly half my pants have gaping holes now. Maybe I could be a pitcher for the Yankees.
They could call me The Great Bum-bino.
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