Wednesday, July 12, 2006

MySpace Strikes Again!!

The other night Sarah and I were bored. I mean BORED. After our favorite show failed to air, we decided it was time to photograph Sarah’s bruise. (Remember I said BORED) After several attempts with her camera phone we got annoyed with the artificial shutter clicking, and decided it was time to break in my new digital camera.

Don’t be deceived, all that is digital is not gold.

This camera in particular measures about 1”x2”, can only hold 20 pictures, has a viewfinder that is activated by manually pushing it up, and runs on a AAA battery. Eventually we got Sarah in a very compromising position, and had some minor success. (Which is reflected in Sarah’s blog)

And then it was time. LET THE GREAT EXPERAMENT BEGIN! For all you MySpace-ers out there, you may recognize what you’re about to see. Personal photography at it’s finest. When meeting people online it’s best to know as little about them as possible, and those myspace angles are all about the deception.

Thus behold my eye. Is it my right eye? Did I flip the image and my hair is actually parted on the other side? The world may never know!!!

Why is Sarah looking up at the ceiling? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it Brandon Routh in spandex?

And finally, why is Sarah playing the bagpipes, while I play with bio-hazardous materials?



Thursday, July 06, 2006

Ok this is just too much. On Sunday hundreds of people flocked to a hospital in India to see a man holding a piece of his own skull. . .which FELL OFF! I don’t know about you, but if any part of me fell off I would NOT be that calm, especially not if it was my SKULL! The good news is that now those costume designers for the inevitable He-man movie won’t have to worry about finding a mask for Skeletor. (Haha. Sorry) Apparently this guy burned himself . . .uh . . .on his head . . .so bad that his skull died and started to rebuild a new one. FYI 007, you might want to inform Q that his new lightning-rod-hidden-in-a-fedora might not be such a hit. But it is guaranteed to shock and amaze! (wow, sorry again.) The one thing this story has taught me is that my idea for rubber “soft hats” might not be such a bad idea . . .although the Styrofoam toupee might still need some work. Oh, and if you’re like me, closer inspection reveals that he has a bandage on his head, and that he is actually not frying bacon using his electrically enhanced brain waves.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

I recently had the play-sure to attend a restaurant of such notoriety it’s typically only featured quality cinema such as The Cable Guy. That’s right. You fellow green-knight supporters know phenomenon of which I refer. Medieval Times has regaled patrons with authentic dinning experiences (minus the Pepsi) and the medieval version of swashbuckling sword fights and dramatic excitement.

Never before in the history of these dignified patrons have they willingly donned cardboard crowns with such loyalty and excitement. At least not since their 10th birthday party at Burger King. The energy of the area is the closest thing we have in America to the European world cup fans. Each group cheering unquestionably to the knight bearing their designated color, and shouting profanities at the competing knights, then secretly giggling when their own knight falls dramatically into single un-removed pile of horse doo. The food is almost pointless, but to aid the ingestion of beer, once you get caught up in the action in front of you. Indeed my co-attendee Emily waved her little green banner so vigilantly and so enthusiastically that by the end of the tournament she had nothing but a frayed, green fuzz ball on a stick.

Before going we decided that we were going to make the most of this experience by paying the extra $4 to be in the "royalty" section. This entitled us to the afore mentioned banner, a dvd of the performance, and the play-sure of listening to the drunked menopausal women to our left complaining about not getting a flower from our knight, and the spoiled, prepubesent, mall-rat sisters to our right literally bludgening each other over a hankerchief from the princess. If you're curious, the 7 year old won.

This is my dramatic entrance to the blogging community. Prepare to be dazzled.