Monday, October 22, 2007

Things I've always Known But Never Realized Until This Week.

1. I enjoy long, muddled blog titles.

2. I use the sound of my roommate clomping around on the floor above me as a second alarm when I've hit snooze too many times.

3. Sometimes I stretch so hard that I vomit in my mouth a little.

4. It's ok. I don't have to choose. I can love Mac and Charlie equally for their individual "charm." Sorry Dennis, you just skeeve me out.

5. Few things in this world make me happier or more upbeat than listening to the guitar riffs at the end of Free Bird at full blast on my ride home from work.

6. According to, the penultimate source of proper English diction, "stupider" IS a word although it renders it's user more so by saying it.

7. Double-bagel Monday only SOUNDS like a good idea.

8. With the exception of Haras, and sometimes even then, what I generally find most funny is not the punchline. Any guesses at exactly which line made me laugh so hard I watched it 12 times over?

9. Two words. Four syllables: James. McAvoy.

10. No matter how hard we try most Americans will never be as funny as the average Brit trying to reach Leonardo DiCaprio.

11. I enjoy writing "list" blogs because transitions are the bane of my existence.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Tagged For Life

I have been tagged and must share 6 facts/habits about myself (6 for each time you are tagged by someone). Then I too must tag someone(or as many people as I wish) and leave a comment on their blog to notify them, and then they get to leave info about themselves and proceed to tag someone else.

First of all I want to give a shout-out of thanks to Bone Junior for tagging me and making me blog on a day of such monumental boredom that anyone who reads this will likely slip into what I like to call a light-to no-coma. Equivalent to a short nap.

Fact #1 The one redeeming thing at work today is that I get to run a test that requires me to use a command prompt and therefore makes me feel smart and computery. Even though I only know how to do the one command "put out.xml"

Fact #2 The command prompt also has a double effect of making me feel like it's 1993 and since that would make me only 10 I giggle to myself every time I type the phrase "put out."

Fact #3 I have sent a Transformers phone message to all of my coworkers informing them that our boss has joined with the enemy Decepticons and now goes by the name Bonecrusher.

Fact #4 So far not a single person has mentioned it.
Fact #5 Every time I see this picture of my nephew in his gorilla costume my heart skips a beat.

Fact #6 The last time my hair stylist asked if I was dating someone I lied and said yes, then proceeded to explain the intricacies of my complicated relationship.

That is all for now. Nicole and Irak, consider yourselves tagged.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I'm Famous! Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Bowling For Soup

For the 50 of you that I called at the last minute to go to the Bowling for Soup concert and meet & greet, here is proof of the awesome time that you missed. Due to an oversight I had no camera with me, and had only the back of my ticket to be signed by the band. Being ALONE in a tiny, confused group of 10 (or I guess 11) standing ALONE in line to meet the band, then approaching them to say hello BY MYSELF, and also being the ONLY PERSON not requesting a picture with them, it was an all around fun experience.

Some times you need to just buck up and deal with the fact that if you're ever going to get your picture taken with the Seattle fire fighters, you're going to have to go to the calendar release party by yourself. Since I had no camera with me I've been anxious for 107.9 themix to post the pictures I saw them feverishly snapping during the meet&greet. And in case any of you doubted the fact that I DID attend I offer you this proof.

Here I am at the meet&greet right after I met the band.

Oh wait. What's that? You say that the cute girl in the striped shirt looks nothing like me and I should stop trying to cover the fact that I chickened out? You say you can't see me? How about now?

I think you can tell by my expression the magnitude of the moment. If this doesn't prove my close association with the band I don't know WHAT will.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Baby Got Back

Today I unlocked a door with my butt. It was quite accidental, as most back-end phenomenon are. I almost thought it was a fluke but repeated bumpings proved that my wide-load has a knack for it. All afternoon I've been trying to think of a practical use for my newly discovered talent. Maybe I could become a locksmith.

Or a buttocksmith.

Not to be confused with a Botoxsmith who simply stops your locks from functioning in any natural way. But they sure look nice after. No judgement.

My lady hump has other talents too. It's really good at turning on the stove. Unless the pilot light is out, then things get a little heated.

Unlocking doors and turing on stoves. Maybe my bon-bon should open a bed and breakfast. The Cozy Caboose? Definite marketing potential.

The only qualm I have is my that aparently my booty is claustrophobic. I can hardly walk through a door with out slamming into the doorknob and catching it in my pocket. It sure does have good aim though, nearly half my pants have gaping holes now. Maybe I could be a pitcher for the Yankees.

They could call me The Great Bum-bino.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

It Runs in the Family

There's an old joke in our family about my grandmother getting lost in her own bedroom. Unfortunately it's not an exaggeration. She got up in the middle of the night, got turned around in the dark and couldn't find her way out of the corner. Yes, she eventually found her way back to the bed. And yes, we all tease her about it now.

While several character traits have been passed down through the women in our family (my mother and grandmother often purchase the exact same sweater although they're states apart) I was hoping that this one would pass me by. I've already resigned myself to constantly finding chunks of food stuck to my shirt, thanks Grandma, but as of yet I've had no indication that I might someday get lost inside my own house. Then I recieved this email.

Late last night when I couldn't sleep I went downstairs to watch tv for awhile. Going back upstairs there were no lights on but I've lived here a long time and know my way. I was sleeping in the other room since Dad is comming down with a cold, and as I got upstairs I could hear him snoring. I turned into my room to get in bed but I bumped into something that made a jangling noise, I couldn't figure out what it was and I couldn't find the bed, the door, or the lightswitch!! After several minutes of total confusion I realized I was in the wrong bedroom. So beware, you can get lost in your own house and it does run in the family!

Love you,

This is what I have to look forward to. Next thing I know I'll be sitting on little boys in the movie theater.