I recently had the play-sure to attend a restaurant of such notoriety it’s typically only featured quality cinema such as The Cable Guy. That’s right. You fellow green-knight supporters know phenomenon of which I refer. Medieval Times has regaled patrons with authentic dinning experiences (minus the Pepsi) and the medieval version of swashbuckling sword fights and dramatic excitement.

Never before in the history of these dignified patrons have they willingly donned cardboard crowns with such loyalty and excitement. At least not since their 10th birthday party at Burger King. The energy of the area is the closest thing we have in America to the European world cup fans. Each group cheering unquestionably to the knight bearing their designated color, and shouting profanities at the competing knights, then secretly giggling when their own knight falls dramatically into single un-removed pile of horse doo. The food is almost pointless, but to aid the ingestion of beer, once you get caught up in the action in front of you. Indeed my co-attendee Emily waved her little green banner so vigilantly and so enthusiastically that by the end of the tournament she had nothing but a frayed, green fuzz ball on a stick.

Before going we decided that we were going to make the most of this experience by paying the extra $4 to be in the "royalty" section. This entitled us to the afore mentioned banner, a dvd of the performance, and the play-sure of listening to the drunked menopausal women to our left complaining about not getting a flower from our knight, and the spoiled, prepubesent, mall-rat sisters to our right literally bludgening each other over a hankerchief from the princess. If you're curious, the 7 year old won.

GO GREEN! GO GREEN! GO GREEN!