Yelnats Talf

A few weeks ago I got a letter from my niece telling me her class had read a story about Flat Stanley and how she was sending me a Stanley that she made. I was supposed to take him with me everywhere I went and document our adventures, but I'm a slacker and so I did it all in one night.

One memorable outtake was when I tried to make it look like he was playing with my friends' cat toy, but instead it looked like he hung himself. I decided to leave that one out. Here's what I did instead:

Here is Stanley enjoying a a day of sun-bathing in Hawaii. See. You can tell it's really Hawaii because of the Sweet Maui Onion Hawaiian potato chips next to him. Also the "palm tree" is a dead give away.

Here Stanley is helping me study. His strangely askew reading spectacles denote his studious nature. Stanley thinks that Lady Macbeth's moral reversal relieves her of all blame, making Macbeth the real villain of the play. Oh, Stanley! You always spark such controversy!





Stanley wanted to fight Rocky, but he was too afraid to fight a South Paul. Wait. It's South PAW? Yeah that kind of makes more sense. I blame Rocky's facial paralysis.




Elvis and Stanley became best pals. I guess they just have a lot in common. What with being two-dimensional and all.

Stanley was a great help in the kitchen but . . . it was kind of demeaning. "Dump that package of generic processed cheese into the macaroni NOW!!!" "YES, CHEF!" And then I cried. And he liked it.

Then we tried to play hide-and-seek but I think he was cheating. Look at the smirk on his face, the smarmy little bugger.